Have you ever asked God to help you with something and then totally missed the signs he was giving you in answer? I’ve been truly struggling with how to do my prayer time, devotional reading, and especially my time of silence. I’m really missing living by myself where I can control the chaos I allow around me while I’m temporarily living with my son and his family. I’m confessing that my prayer and reading time has come to almost a stand still and I’ve been praying that God will show me how to get time back to spend with him.
“Be silent and know I am God…” Psalm 46:10
Walking, especially our late evening walks, have been magical while I’ve been recovering from Covid. The nearly constant snowfall, watching the snowflakes float down, and marveling over the snow reflecting all the Christmas lights has distracted me. To try to be “productive” I’ve taken to listening to the Hallow app while walking thinking I was knocking two things out at once - yes I’m a recovering multi-tasker. I’ve realized this has been a losing battle as I get distracted by things on our walks or just block out the voice/s. Recently I turned Hallow on as we left for our evening walk and stopped at the end of the driveway and turned it off - I needed silence. It was nearly a physical pain, I was in such desperate need of silence - not just silence but God’s silence. It hurt at first since I’d gotten out of the habit of being in silence. I think when we’re most uncomfortable with silence shows how much we really need it.
While I was on this walk I was feeling uncomfortable that I should be doing something, praying or listening to something edifying - remember I’m a recovering multi-tasker. Suddenly I remembered having heard someone speak and say that PRAISING GOD IS PRAYER! Wow, it hit me then that my fascination with the beauty while walking was God showing me how to pray in silence. I didn’t need to be saying the Rosary or reciting prayers, I needed to be silent and let God in. This was my time to be with God and listen.
